'How wonderful life is now your in the world.' Those were the words of our opening song for the wedding ceremony as sung by Elton John. Thats how i felt about Tony the day we married and how i feel every morning i wake next to him.
The wedding day had lots of mixed emotions for me. Nervous and worried was the morning leading up to the ceremony, nervous and relieved after the ceremony, happy and giddy when sitting down for the wedding breakfast. The afternoon i was just relaxed and the evening i was worse for wear and tired, although that didnt stop me having a wonderful wedding night! But throughout the day i thought about my mum who was unable to be with us having died eight weeks ago to the day we married. I was thinking how she would have been giddy, laughing loudly, making jokes about 'Lanks' and running around after Milly. She would have been stashing wedding cake into cake boxes to take home, looking for a 'doggy' bag to take home left over buffett and telling me not to throw the bouquet as she would want it! It was almost like having her there knowing how she would have been, although her lack of presence was felt by myself and my family.
But apart from that the day was perfect, couldnt have asked for things to be any better. The sun was shinning and everyone had a smile on their face, well until the evening when the odd couple had a boozy words with their partners!
The wedding wasnt just a wedding to me or a party for the day. It wasnt just about making a life long commitment to Tony or showing him my love although that's all i really wanted for us on that day. It was also a start of a new chapter for me, Tony and the girls. Its quite exciting to think of it as a new life and a new chapter. I do wonder what the future will bring for us...... a new baby perhaps? :O)
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Thursday, March 06, 2008
Me And Mum
The second post of this year is not a happy event unlike the birth of my second daughter, as only two weeks after Hannah's arrival I lost my mum when she was only 51 years old. When you talk to people they ask you things like 'was she ill?' The answer to that is yes although we didnt know it. My poor mum had cancer, in her womb and lungs, although she didnt know it. So we never had the 'last months' syndrome, the chemo and the suffering. No, she lived life to the full to the last few days of it when she developed a lung infection and died. And i am glad, i wouldnt have been able to have enjoyed the 'last months' knowing what would happen and i am sure mum wouldn't have enjoyed that either.
There are lots of things i could say about mum, she always had a lot to say for herself too! She could be grumpy, if she didnt want to talk to you, you knew about it and if she wasnt happy about something she would let you know in no uncertain terms. But that was only a fraction of her really. The rest of the time she was happy, smiling and a very outgoing noisy woman who loved to laugh and tried to poke fun although she wasnt really very good at it.
At the time of her death she was very happy and had a lot of joy in her life especially with her grand children. She had five grand daughters who she loved. She especially loved my eldest daugher as she spent so much time with her, so much so she would ask me nearly every weekend if she could have her over to sleep. Even when Milly reached two she was nursing her like a baby and called her 'her baby!' I would go and pick Milly up from my mums house and she didnt want to come home, wanted to stay with mum! Mum would get excited telling me all the things she had bought Milly, whether it was clothes, toys or something simple like Thomas the Tank engine spaghetti for her to have for tea!! She unfortunatly only got to see my second daughter a handful of times but i could see she was going to be the same with her.
Since her passing i have thought lots about my childhood, about the holidays to the seaside, about her walking us to school, making our tea, washing my school uniform. Remembering her telling us off for leaving the backboor open in the winter when it was cold outside and we were playing outside in the snow. 'You're either staying in or going out' she would say shutting the door behind us. There were four us of at home as children, what a hard job that must have been, looking after four children. I have two, that's hard enough! I hope i am nearly half as good at it as she was!
In a few weeks time i am due to get married and i am very sad that she wont be with us. I can't decide if it will be a hard day or not for me. I am looking forward to the wedding but i am gutted mum wont be there. But i know exactly what she would be saying if she was there. I can see her now looking at Tony's face, laughing and saying 'oh my god Sarah, he has had a shave!'
There are lots of things i could say about mum, she always had a lot to say for herself too! She could be grumpy, if she didnt want to talk to you, you knew about it and if she wasnt happy about something she would let you know in no uncertain terms. But that was only a fraction of her really. The rest of the time she was happy, smiling and a very outgoing noisy woman who loved to laugh and tried to poke fun although she wasnt really very good at it.
At the time of her death she was very happy and had a lot of joy in her life especially with her grand children. She had five grand daughters who she loved. She especially loved my eldest daugher as she spent so much time with her, so much so she would ask me nearly every weekend if she could have her over to sleep. Even when Milly reached two she was nursing her like a baby and called her 'her baby!' I would go and pick Milly up from my mums house and she didnt want to come home, wanted to stay with mum! Mum would get excited telling me all the things she had bought Milly, whether it was clothes, toys or something simple like Thomas the Tank engine spaghetti for her to have for tea!! She unfortunatly only got to see my second daughter a handful of times but i could see she was going to be the same with her.
Since her passing i have thought lots about my childhood, about the holidays to the seaside, about her walking us to school, making our tea, washing my school uniform. Remembering her telling us off for leaving the backboor open in the winter when it was cold outside and we were playing outside in the snow. 'You're either staying in or going out' she would say shutting the door behind us. There were four us of at home as children, what a hard job that must have been, looking after four children. I have two, that's hard enough! I hope i am nearly half as good at it as she was!
In a few weeks time i am due to get married and i am very sad that she wont be with us. I can't decide if it will be a hard day or not for me. I am looking forward to the wedding but i am gutted mum wont be there. But i know exactly what she would be saying if she was there. I can see her now looking at Tony's face, laughing and saying 'oh my god Sarah, he has had a shave!'
Hannah
Lots of things have happened since the last post, Dirty Dancing, February 2007 but i havent been able to get to post them so this is my story of last year summed up in one picture.
When your pregnant, although you believe pregnancy to be nine months sometimes its nearly ten and most often than not it feels to have taken up the whole year and you forget what you did pre pregnancy in that year! The pregnancy went fine, wish i could say as much for the birth but here she is Hannah born 19th January 2008 weighing 9 pounds 10 ounces. At the time of writing this she is a little over six weeks old. Can be unsettled in comparison to how Amelia was at this age but i couldnt have really expected two good babies could I? She is a blessing though whatever and she is so much like her dad, maybe thats why she can be a misery!
When your pregnant, although you believe pregnancy to be nine months sometimes its nearly ten and most often than not it feels to have taken up the whole year and you forget what you did pre pregnancy in that year! The pregnancy went fine, wish i could say as much for the birth but here she is Hannah born 19th January 2008 weighing 9 pounds 10 ounces. At the time of writing this she is a little over six weeks old. Can be unsettled in comparison to how Amelia was at this age but i couldnt have really expected two good babies could I? She is a blessing though whatever and she is so much like her dad, maybe thats why she can be a misery!
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
"Nobody Puts Baby In A Corner!"
With those famous words uttered by the actor playing the lead role "Johnny Castle" he subsequently pulled "baby" from her chair for the last dance which made the whole theatre erupt into a loud cheer. Or at least the female members of the audience. The male members just looked around wondering the significance of the line or who indeed "Johnny Castle" was.
That was February 5th 2007, my 31st birthday, spent that evening watching a theatre version of a film which when it first came out i was too young to see at the pictures, the film was rated 15 and i was only 11.
Its every 30 somethings favorite film from when she was younger. It was a film about disappointment and determination, about learning and about love. The fact that it also starred a very perfect looking Swayze had nothing to do with its popularity of course!
The way the film was portrayed or adapted for stage was amazing. The props and sets were imaginative, almost ingenious. I sat and wondered for weeks and even had the discussions as to how were they going to do that scene over the water on that log?! But they did it! If you want to know how you will have to see it for yourself. The scripting was almost word for word (yes i know the film word for word!) and they sung most of the soundtrack live, with fantastic reditions of "de toro un poco" and "in the still of the night".
I would recommend the show to any female out there who loves the film or indeed any males who do too, because i had the "the time of my life" that night. Just also to mention if you do indeed decide to go and take your partner and he hasn't seen the film, remember to mention that "Johnny Castle" is the leading male role BEFORE you get into the theatre and not whilst in there or it could get rather embarrassing.
Friday, December 29, 2006
Christmas Time
Captured here is Milly opening one of her many presents she got this Christmas. It was amazing the amount of presents she recieved, but even more amazing was watching her opening them. She was so overwhelmed she was in tears, she didnt know which to open first! This time last year I felt quite sad about Christmas really. It was her first and just like her birthday her biological dad didnt bother to send so much as a card. That really got to me back then. But this year I could see for the first time how he is the one missing out, not her. She has so many people round her that love her and want to be in her life and is always such a happy little girl because of it. She is a lucky little girl and we are lucky to have her. I just dread the day when she starts wanting really expensive Christmas presents am sure there will be a new type of playstation when she is ten, that costs hundreds of pounds she will be after!
Thursday, December 14, 2006
My Collection of Memories
I was looking through my pictures tonight and wanted to put together a selection of my photos that can make me stop, remember and smile. To anyone else alot of these can look random but to me they can make me remember certain events or times and make me remember what I liked about them.
The first photo was my first trip to ewood park. It was the first time i had watched my team against a premiership side, the first time i had ever been to ewood park or the first time i had been to blackburn for that matter. It was a cracking match, i was about eight months pregnant at the time and little did i realise that i would be watching Rovers a few more times a few months later sat in the home side.
The top middle picture I was twenty weeks pregnant and I took it after I had left my job in Leeds. I wanted to remember the relief I felt after leaving there. I grew to hate going to work. Millys dad worked there and behaved like a complete a*rsehole towards me as he wasnt happy about the pregnancy and the management didnt seem to want or know how to manage the situation! So after my last shift or thereabouts I got home went in the shower, smiled and took the picture! For the first time in months I felt happy and was coming round to my situation and felt excited about having a baby in my life.
In the other corner is one of the other trips to Ewood Park, the Liverpool game last season possibly. I was in their "blues bar" feeling very proud as three of their players signed my shirt. Silly I know but i was completely star struck! Saying that I had been tucking into a jug of beer and may have been a little worse for wear!
Going onto the next row the lad in the grey jacket is one of their players Gamst ,who signed my shirt, he was my favorite!!
In the middle of that row is the ducklings of wetwang. I really enjoyed that day. Me and Tony took a small baby Milly to Brid and called here for the best fish and chips I had ever had I think and as we were sat eating on the bench along toddled a duck followed by her ducklings. It was red hot that day too.
At the side of that picture is a picture of Ramsden Res, or should I say a father and daughter fishing there. It was a red hot Saturday afternoon and it was 1:30pm. I remember this because i spent half an hour on the phone to Tony (he was on his lunch at work) discussing where we were taking our relationship next. I was watching them fishing while I was talking to him.
The next row down the first picture is the first one Tony ever took of me and Milly. She was only a couple of weeks old and I felt ill but i got on that motorway to see Tony, he had spent so much time with me when i was pregnant and been so good listening to me moaning that I had to show him the finished product! This picture always reminds me of just how supportive and how good a listener he is and how he always has the right answers!
The photo in the middle is the first one we had taken togther at his mums when we were hiding that we were an item from his family!! That was fun as they had their suspictions anyway. Well you would, wouldnt you?
Jon Bon Jovi is next, I went to his concert this year in Milton Keynes. That was the first outdoor rock concert I had ever been to. It was fantastic. The next day was spent in London and I went on the London eye, which was something i had wanted to do for years. I remember being in the hotel the morning we went on the London eye having breakfast with Tony thinking how scared i was feeling because I knew just how close i was feeling to him after being with him all weekend.
On the bottom row is me with a silly sticker across my chest. That was one of the first nights out me and Tony had in Leeds as a couple. It was nice and he really looked after me. Which brings me to the middle picture where i dressed up as a goth for a night out in wendyhouse in Leeds where he likes. He took me thinking I would hate it, but just because I dont like the music they play in a particular club or dont normally dress how they do, doesnt mean that I cant enjoy it.
And finally is a picture of a great little girl on a fantastic day. Looking at how happy she is reminds me of what a great day we had on her birthday, how special this time in her life is and how lucky we are to have her.
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
911
9th December 2006
Pictured here is Lee from the group formally known as 911. Me and Tonys sister went down Halifax to Jumping Jacks where they were playing on stage. Gail is a big 911 fan (not sure why) but i went with her and waited behind a barrier to meet the group after they performed.
On getting through the barrier we got to speak to Lee, Jimmy and Spike who also signed the shoulders of Gail. Promptly the next day she had the autographs tattooed in Huddersfield, mad girl!!
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
Tony
After putting together a collection of pictures of Milly's first year which you can see on my flickr link I decided to put together a couple of pictures of Tony that I like the most.
The one where he is small I find very cute. It also reminds me a little of when I was young particually as I have three brothers who mostly had haircuts simlilar to his at some time or other. The clothes he has are similar to what we wore, but saying that he grew up at the same time as I did obviously even if it was in a foreign land call lanc.
The one in the park is great. Thats more or less how i remember him from the first time I met him at First Direct, probably even wearing that shirt along with of course his leather jacket!
The braids picture has always been my favorite, it shows his braids off which look very nice and the reflection has a very serious expression (he is nearly always very serious!) which i like.
And the last picture, I took in Leeds just after he had left Saks! I love his hair short and although he will never admit it I kind of think that he cut his hair because i asked (nagged!) him to which i think is nice, as he really loved hair!!
Anyway if nothing else its a collection of pictures which mark how he has changed over the years!
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
The Frown
For some reason milly has developed the art of frowing and she frowns all the time now, its really funny and very cute. So here it is in action lol!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)